The Ellen Staff’s ‘Bachelor Recap’: Poppin’ Bottles

The Ellen Staff’s ‘Bachelor Recap’: Poppin’ Bottles


Hey, guys. I’m Tracy. And I’m Andy. Corey’s not here. He’s a little under the weather. Hopefully next week– He’ll be over the weather. [BA DUM TISS] We have so much to discuss. Oh, boy. Let’s get into this. We’re going to pop
open the champagne– Pop it! We’re going to pop the top. –and get right into it. [POP] [SLOW MOTION SCREAM] And that’s how you
[INAUDIBLE] the cube. It didn’t even squirt my face. No. That wasn’t very
fun, but it’s OK. Bachelor episode two! So we go back to the
group date with Hannah B. He’s like, I can’t do this. But they were staring at each
other like this– so close. Could it have been more
of a vague conversation? Well, no. It was very vague,
but also did you not think that they were going
to kiss the entire time? Oh, the tension. Literally, they
couldn’t get closer. The chemistry! They were so close. And I was just like, kiss! Kiss! Kiss! And then she did this thing
where she sat in his lap. Oh, it was so weird. It was like a weird
kind of lap dance. I made a note to
myself and the lady that I was watching
with– my wife. [LAUGHS] So– I said, here’s the deal. They want to leave. Because at that point, she goes,
should we just get out of here? You could tell. I was like, they will
leave in a heartbeat. Yeah. So then she leaves. They hug for a really long time. Really awkward long time. And then he’s like, well, I’d
better get back to the girls. Yeah. And then he’s distraught. Peter’s like– doesn’t
know what to do. So he goes and he’s
like, I hate to do this, but there’s a lot of emotions. You guys know Hannah was here. I knew this was going
to be an awkward date. Yeah. So I have to cut this
date off right here. And all the girls,
meanwhile, are so mad. Why am I even here? Why am I even here? You’re here because
you want to be on TV. And also, I kind of side
with the women, who are like, I’ve seen Hannah twice
and I’ve seen Peter twice. Why– nobody wants to see
the guy you’re dating’s ex-girlfriend. And he’s clearly still
in love with her. Yes. We’re getting to know some
people more, including Sydney. Sydney was bullied. Bullying is a theme
throughout this episode. It is. It’s not a good thing. It’s a bad thing. Don’t do it at home. Be kind. But watch it on TV. She ends up getting the rose. The rose, yeah. Which was like, surprise. Which, I was like,
why did she get that? Your pick, Mykenna– Uh-huh. Right here– so Mykenna
comes in and they have a cute little dance. I think he is burning
up the dance floor. Oh, you mean like how he’s
like– he’s like, yeah. First I slide in. And he’s like, and then
I do some shoulder. And you’re just watching. The whole time, you’re like– And then he’s like, and then
I spin you right into here. Yeah. [LAUGHTER] Blech. Moving on. So he’s clearly in
love with Madison. I guess. Well, I’m sorry. How many women do you
give a picture of them with your parents? Well, that’s what I’m saying. Eventually, if he picks
someone outside of Madison, they’re going to watch this
back and be like, what was that? So Kelsey we didn’t really see
much of until this episode. It was a gift for us, because
this moment was a great moment. Very well-produced. First of all, they show her. Mm! Oh, she’s so excited because
she got a fancy bottle of wine at home from Des Moines. A year ago. She’s was saving it. Saving it for a
very special moment. Sets her champagne
up by the fireplace. And then Hannah Ann sits down. Oh, my gosh. This is so great. Champagne? Should we open the champagne? They pour and they drink it. And then we hear–
it was the best. The girls were all in a
group and they’re like, did someone just hear that? Wait. Did you just– was that
a bottle of champagne? No, they wouldn’t. What, was that– Would they do that? Was that– wait. That sounded like
my champagne pop. No. You’d better go check that out. So Kelsey loses her mind. Oh, boy. I was like, here we go. Tears, bathroom,
girls follow her in– door slams. Oh, Peter went– One of the friends answers,
and she’s like, it’s Peter. And she’s like, I
don’t want to see him. [LAUGHS] Which is like– It was like– She just turned into
a 12-year-old girl. These producers are geniuses! Yeah, it was a good moment. Ah! Established her as
kind of a kook– very demanding kook. Kind of a kook? She was a full-blown kook. So then Kelsey’s like,
Hannah Ann, you knew. You knew! You did this on purpose. And Hannah Ann’s like– I didn’t know. I didn’t know, with
her doe-y eyes. She’s like, I was– I didn’t know. She’s really good
at being confronted, because she just stands there
and goes, I didn’t know. She’s like a– But if I offended
you, I’m sorry. Yeah. That happens, and
she gets another one. And they’re trying
to redo her moment. But he’s like, shall we
just drink from the bottle? She’s like, yeah. Yeah! Glug, glug, glug, glug. And then it sprays up. You just felt like, could
this day get any worse? So then they go to
the rose ceremony. Poor girl. We say goodbye to three
people that we really didn’t get to know anyway. Bye, Lauren. Bye, Payton. And then also Courtney. Oh, which brings us
to the big group date. OK. So we’re at Revolve. But actually, this
is a really fun date. It was a good date. So the date was– I’m surprised they’ve
never done this before. They just got to pick something
out of the Revolve closet. Mm-hmm. And then they modeled it. And Peter came out first. Boy, did he look
like a million bucks. Oh, yes. Like, mm. Mm. Very confident pilot. Yeah. And then he just walks off
the runway and sits down. So then we have the women
come and they model. And there’s one person who’s
very nervous the entire time– Victoria. I like her this episode. I think she’s established
as I’m nervous, I don’t think I can do this. She became– And then what does
she come out wearing? Bubba-buh lingerie. Hubba-duh hubba-duh hubba-duh. Hubba hubba. [MUSIC PLAYING] And she looked beautiful. And you didn’t see that coming. Sure didn’t. [MAKES EXPLOSION SOUND] No. And you know what else
you don’t see coming? As she’s walking back,
she goes over to Peter– Uh-huh? Leaned over, gives him a real– So confident, she went
in for the smoocherino. (LAUGHING) Smoocherino. She did it. You’re such a dad. They went there. The smoocherino. [LAUGHS] So anyway,
so then we’re announced the top two people who
are like, who’s going to win? And it’s– And it was– Hannah Ann and Victoria F. And then they both
had to put on the same get up and see who
could model it best. Yeah. Hannah Ann took her
skirt and went, wa-pash! Oh, no. And then Victoria
F. walked back, and then Hannah Ann
did like one more. Came back out for
another– oh, it was great. And like, whatever. It was great. I wanted Victoria
F. to win, but– I did, too. But Hannah Ann won, which
means that she won a Revolve– Thousands of dollars
in Revolve clothes. Yeah. And Victoria F. was
very upset, and that’s when she went off
stage and cried. But I still feel
like Victoria F. got farther ahead by her
catwalk and her smoocherino. So would you say that the F
stands for “farther ahead”? Yes. I would say that. Just when you thought the
champagne drams of Champagne Gate was over, it’s not. Mm-mm. Because Kelsey– Won’t let it go. She will not drop it, and she
confronts Hannah Ann again. And which, Hannah Ann feels– Does the classic
Hannah Ann again. Which is like, uh! I’m sorry that
you feel this way. And then– I can tell you’re
very angry about this. You’re definitely upset. I’m so sorry. I’m going to go talk
to Peter about it. And doesn’t tell her
that, but then goes, and during her time with
Peter, says that Kelsey’s– Which you’re not supposed to do. You don’t waste your
time with the Bachelor talking about someone else. Yeah. So he goes and confronts her. And he’s like, why
did you do this? Hannah Ann told me this. She obviously inside is
getting more mad at Hannah Ann for saying this. Oh, yeah. But yeah, nothing
really comes of it. So– It didn’t really, no. We’re going to end this now. The tease happens. And here we go again. Looks like good drama. What are we going to do? Demi’s coming back. Cut to his mom again. Oh, you’ve got to go after her. Don’t run her– don’t. Don’t let her go. Who is she talking about? Ma– I’m telling
you, it’s Madison. Mm-mm. I think it’s– Hannah B? Hannah B. Only time will tell,
and we will watch and we’ll find out together,
and we’ll discuss it and we’ll drink champagne. A big thanks, you
guys, for watching. And make sure you
tune in next week again to watch us in the cube. [SPUTTERS] [SNORTS] Comment below to
tell us what you think. Be nice. Coming out of the nose. [MUSIC PLAYING]

93 Replies to “The Ellen Staff’s ‘Bachelor Recap’: Poppin’ Bottles”

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  2. Hey, wishing whoever is reading this a fantastic day today. Be well and stay in touch 🙂 👊🏿

  3. omg this is the best 😂😂 I have ideas for a bachelor parody skit, subscribe if you want to see the shenanigans!!

  4. I love the recap. I’m never able to watch the episodes because I’m in another country but with the recap I still get all the poppin moments. 🍾 HA! 😂

  5. They cut to Hannah Ann right before Kelsey starts talking about the bottle, sooooo how did she not know. I agree with andy. Peter' mom is crying about Hannah B. Another good one guys.

  6. I do not like Kelcey!! Actually, i don't like any of them BUT I love all of them compared to Hannnah B. Please ABC get Hanbah B out of our lives!!! She needs to GO AWAY!!!

  7. one of my favorite events of the week!! Love the recaps because I can't get time to watch the show or make it through an episode! lol

  8. I don’t get the story at the beginning about the peoples almost kissing, then hugging for a long time and the guy goes back to girls. I’m like ???

  9. Do these guys have Instagram accounts. I want to see Tracey’s baby. Did I imagine that she was pregnant?

  10. Hannah Ann is only here for flat tummy tea sponsorships. I don't trust her way too fake
    Edit: also Madison is shady cause she runs her own fan page.

  11. I have watched bachelor enough to know when you see something strange arranged outside during the cocktail party somebody else set it up for there time with the bachelor or bachelorette. Bachelor team never set something up unless during one on one dates.

  12. Maybe Mom is talking about that girl who just gave up and left and Peter was saying he still felt something and wanted to fight for her

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